Collusion: Trump Tower Moscow and Putin Penthouse New York?
by John Lawrence, January 11, 2019
Trump never meant it literally when he said Mexico would pay for the wall. You can call it a wall or you can call it a barrier. Either way folks, it's got to be done. "But wait I have an even better idea. Instead of a wall we will build a beautiful moat all along the southern border of the US. A beautiful 50 foot moat and we will stock it with beautiful Florida alligators. We are going to drain the swamps in Florida, folks, and put those beautiful alligators in the moat. Then I suppose there will be some hue and cry when some baby gets eaten by one, but it's gotta be done, folks. The 30 foot walls have all been breached. The steel slats were cut through by a saw you can buy at Home Depot. We can't have that."
"As far as collusion, yes I colluded with Vladimir Putin to build a beautiful Trump Tower in Moscow. Putin and I would occupy the penthouse suite where we would work on the INF treaty if you know what I mean." "Yes, Donald, Russia will buy stock in Boeing so both nations can prosper as you drive up defense expenditures. But tell me Donald, how do you 'grab pussy.' I've tried but it always slips out of my hand." "Oh that's easy Vlad. Let me demonstrate." "Hey, you RT journalist Natasha Sweatte, come over here. Donald will demonstrate proper way to grab pussy so next time I meet with Angela Merkel instead of shaking hand, I will grab her by pussy and shake that."
"Meanwhile, after we build this beautiful moat stocked with our beautiful Florida alligators, I will be working on a deal with Kim Jong Un to build a Trump Tower Pyong Yang. Then after that Trump Tower Beijing. Yes, I will be colluding with Xi Jing Ping or Xi Ping Pong or whatever the hell his name is. He said that as long as I gave him the second biggest penthouse, he would get the Communist Party to OK the deal. Pretty soon the world will be a safer place because there will be a Trump Tower Tehran and a Trump Tower Kabul. There will be a Trump Tower in every hot spot. Billionaires from all over the world will come to visit paying off the Taliban with 'uge sums of money, Big, beautiful 'uge sums of money. It will be great, folks."
"But Trump, did you mean it literally when you chanted 'Lock her up. Lock her up' meaning, of course, Hillary? "Yes, Vladimir, we are going to put Hillary in a big, beautiful dungeon, the most beautiful dungeon in the world. The American people deserve nothing less. It will be designed by some of our most famous architects - Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity." "I can't wait to see that. We will report on RT America. I do a stock trade with you. You sell me stock in Boeing and Raytheon and I sell you stock in Russian oil fields in Siberia." "Yes, Vlad, we're going to frack the hell out of the United States, but if we can't compete with your Russian gas and oil, I will on behalf of American taxpayers invest in your Gazprom and Lukoil. We already have Lukoil service stations in the US where I think most of your Russian spies and supermodels hang out."
"Now, Donald, you're being foolish. Just stick to knitting and build big, beautiful Trump Tower Moscow, then Trump Tower St. Petersburg, eh?"
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