#Me Too Reaches Absurd Heights
by John Lawrence, April 2, 2019
Joe Biden is a touchy feely guy. He has given countless handshakes, countless hugs, and, evidently, one hair sniff and a kiss on the back of the head. This was not an unwanted sexual advance according to Lucy Flores, a Democrat no less. Democrats have a way of eating their own. No, it was an unwanted advance minus the sexual part. It seems Biden was not trying to have sex with her, just being a bit overly friendly. I'm thinking this whole #Me Too movement has gone a little bit overboard. So now Democrats have to apologize for an unwanted hair sniff and a kiss on the back of the head at the same time that the President of the US brags about pussy grabbing and gets away with paying off a porn star with whom he had extramarital sex? What's wrong with this picture.
In the world we live in which is completely devoid of sexual modesty according to most movies and TV shows where sex acts are routinely depicted, all of a sudden we have to have the utmost reservations of even touching the opposite sex. So I've adopted a new approach to dating: I wear a wire just so there will be no confusion about what actually took place when I'm accused of unwanted sexual advances 30 years from now when I run for President of the United States. Here's how a typical date goes. I say to her, "May I hold your hand?" If she replies yes, I say to my wire, "Let the record show that Cynthia X has replied in the affirmative to the question 'May I hold your hand'.
A little further on I may ask, "May I put my arm around you?" If she replies yes, I say, "Let the record show that Cynthia X has replied in the affirmative to the question 'May I put my arm around you'. At the end of the evening I may ask her, "May I kiss you good night?" If she replies yes, I may ask her, "What should be the duration of the kiss - a simple peck lasting less than a second or a longer kiss lasting 1 to 5 seconds and may I kiss you on the lips or only on the cheek, and with tongue or no tongue?" Then she will give me the details on where to kiss her and for how long and in what manner. I will then say to my recorder, "Let the record show that Cynthia X on April 2, 2019 has stated that I may kiss her on the lips for no longer than 5 seconds without tongue."
If Cynthia X and I continue our dating regime, the questions and answers will become ever more frequent. Such questions as "May I touch your breasts?" and "May I remove your knickers?" "Would you prefer oral sex or regular intercourse?" "Which position would you prefer?" After every question and response, I will state, "Let the record show ... " etc. So then I have a record of my relationship with Cynthia X so that 30 years from now, when I run for President and Cynthia X comes forward to allege that I did something inappropriate, I have proof that I did nothing of the sort. In fact Cynthia X assented to my conduct every step of the way. She gave me permission for all advances sexual or otherwise, and she has nothing to complain about.
Seriously, rape is a crime; kissing and sniffing somebody's hair isn't. If a woman can't go to the police and have her claims of criminal activity adjudicated in a court of law immediately after such activity, then she shouldn't "come forward" 20 or 30 years later in an attempt to ruin some man's career. This whole #Me Too thing has become totally absurd, and it's time a man stood up and said so, career be damned!
