by John Lawrence
I could hardly believe it. The Mooch is gone after having not even formally taken office. A very short tenure. A very, very short tenure, indeed. And he gave up so much just to serve the Trumpster whom he evidently idolized so much that he gave up his whole belief system and took down all his former tweets calling Trump a "bully" and a "hack." What the &@%$#! Pre-Trump he had expressed a fondness for Hillary Clinton, gun control, climate change and abortion rights. But now he was a true believer or was ... Maybe he'll go over to the other side now that he has been banished from the main stage.
The entertainment spectacle from the national stage has left the audience gasping with tales about how Cain took down Abel, the perfidy of Reinso Preboscis, the "wonderful human being" that the Trumpster is. Give up all hope now, those who have abandoned all their former beliefs. Someone leaked that the Mooch was worth 85 mil. Even if that's a matter of public record, no one has a right to leak that kind of information. That &@%$# can go &@%$# hisself. Nice suit you have on there Reinso. I'd hate to see anything happen to it. Rumor has it that the Mooch even sold his business and his wife divorced him. That's giving up a lot. Well, 85 mil split two ways ... still not so bad.
As Mark Twain tweeted: “Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt and live like its heaven on earth.” Mark Twain knew a thing or two about life. He himself had been asked to be White House Communications Director by President William Howard Taft, but Twain was a cagey old bird. He thought he could serve his country better in the private sector. After all his hedge fund was only worth 85 mil at the time. No big shakes. He wasn't up there with the "millionaihs and billionaihs" as Bernie Sanders would say.
Hey leakers, you can all go [expletive] yourselves. I'd hate to see anything happen to that nice car you're driving.