The Ridiculousness of Sexual Harassment
by John Lawrence
When you hear about rich and famous men doing truly stupid things like "grabbing a woman by the pussy" to quote President Trump and then paying the ultimate price in humiliation and the loss of a $25 million salary like Matt Lauer, you wonder why didn't these men just date these women and form a relationship that was consensual that way? As a single man for long periods in my life, I learned that the procedure was in fact quite simple. First you asked a woman out for dinner. You talked, got to know each other and then, if you hit it off, you asked her out again to a concert or a show. By the third date usually things would start to get intimate. You didn't "grab them by the pussy." You kissed and hugged and then later made it into the bedroom. By this time it was clear that the relationship and the feelings were mutual and consensual. There was never a problem of sexual harassment.
So why didn't Harvey Weinstein and Matt Lauer do the same thing? Why the awkward lunges at women by these supposedly sophisticated men of the world? The answer is very simple. These men were married. They couldn't, under the circumstances, just engage in normal dating behavior because their wives wouldn't countenance it. So they did what they did in order to "get a little on the side" so to speak.
In light of the unpleasant consequences of what such men are now suffering and going through - the loss of fortunes, reputations, wives and families, the onslaught of public shame - these men who were once riding high in the saddle are now destined for the scrap bin of notoriety or worse. None of the #metooers or pundits ever seem to have mentioned the fact that these guys were perpetrating a hoax or an embarrassment or something abhorrent and reprehensible on their wives. None of the #metooers seem the least bit concerned about the wives.
Wouldn't it be better to accept, as the French evidently do, that a man could have a wife AND a mistress? Then there would be no scandal. The men could properly date another woman other than their wife out in the open without having to resort to scandalous and juvenile behavior in order to cover up their peccadilloes. It seems like a far saner situation. It seems that men will risk anything to have sex with someone other than their wives. The truest saying of all time is "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence" and you know that applies mainly to sex. None of these men would have had to use their positions of power to gain whatever sexual favors they thought they would gain if they could date women openly. Many women would fall for them just on their merits alone just as many have fallen for rock stars and athletes without ever accusing them of sexual harassment. It would take the hypocrisy out of the situation.
But instead society clings to the one man, one woman in love forever paradigm. It just doesn't work. Instead these men and their wives and the #metooers would have been much better off to just accept open marriage as their modus operandi. Rich men, who can have anything money can buy, also want something money can't buy: sex with a beautiful woman other than their wives. Actually, sex with a prostitute could have saved them a lot of headaches. There are high priced prostitutes and escort services that are very discreet. No matter how kinky, they would never accuse a client of sexual harassment. Harvey Weinstein and Matt Lauer should have thought of that.